(for those who have suffered real losses, let me start by saying this is all with tongue planted firmly in cheek...)

For those who have not heard the devastating news, I have recently had to say farewell to a long time friend. After a joyful afternoon where our relationship reached new levels, my beloved Xbox 360 went Red Ring of Death on me. My girlfriend and I had watched a DVD the night before on it. My initial theory was that the extended use caused components to heat up. But now I know the real truth - the 360 saw that there was someone new in my life and decided to punish me. That's the only explanation that makes sense.

The day started like any other - bowl of cereal, newspaper, sweats and a t-shirt - everything needed for a little, quality Halo 3 time. I was stuck on a particularly tough level (dang Ghosts are not my thing) so I was looking forward to a calm morning beating the snot out of some bad guys. But the game was locking up! They say you see the signs but want to ignore them. Well, I thought, the DVD is just dirty. I lovingly cleaned it, gave the 360 time to rest, and cranked her back up. Locking up throughout the morning I started to get suspicious. By the afternoon, the signs were undeniable. After only 30 seconds, the screen would freeze and the controller would sit there about as useful as a stone versus a Wraith Overlord (hey, it's been a long time since I played D&D, cut me some slack). One last attempt and there they were, the signal I had been dreading but in my heart knew was coming...the dreaded red ring of death. Much like Kahn in Star Trek 2, I wailed at the top of my lungs (actually it was more of a PG rated curse session at normal volume).

Slowly, the reality of what had happened started to haunt me. There was of course the initial concerns - no Halo 3, no Gears, no Xbox Live. BioShock still sits in the celophane, waiting to be enjoyed on a rainy evening. Even Call of Juarez (sucks!) was on the to do list. Then, it occurred to me as I logged onto VGC, just what I would be missing. Assassin's Creed, Mass Effect, these were all going to come out while I was without. Arrgghhh!!!!

A day without a First Person Shooter is like a day without sunshine (of course living in San Francisco, I'm used to the latter). In a fog of denial and rage, I drove to the nearest Best Buy, so anxious and scared, much like a crack fiend eyeing the cough syrup, I headed to the PS3 section, determined that "I could stop at any time" and "Hey, I'm just looking". But the sleek, black polished goodness that Sony bestowed upon the world was calling out with a siren song, too sweet to be ignored. Somehow, it ended up in my cart, two games to follow.

A quick drive home and then I was in FPS heaven again (I thought). Slowly unpacking the components, I wondered where the component video cable the sales guy promised was. Eeek! What's this crap!? Normal video? Are they freakin' kidding me? Now this was personal...

Loading up the car for a long nite, I headed back to Best Buy, determined to just get the cable and go. However, a quick stop at Gamespot beforehand yielded Resistance, Fall of Man (used) for $10 less than Best Buy and it also magically hopped into my cart. So I was returning a game as well. Cable = $20, game was $60. I'm making money! At the return counter, a light blue and white box in the corner flashed 3 magical letters...."W" "i" "i". What!? A Wii, in stock?! Can my eyes be telling the truth?

Like the aforementioned crack fiend, I nearly lunged across the counter. No more crack, I was graduating to a designer drug, long rumored to exist but never actually seen. Those who had used it spoke of magical, arm waving motions controlling the world. The salesman handed me the small box, half the size of the PS3 and half the weight. Could a box so small be so magical? We'll have to see....

(Next time, Dave hooks up the PS3 and finds that his new love only serves as a painful reminder of all the skull crushing, blood spilling, bone breaking, flesh ripping special times he and Fenix experienced before....)

Tags : gears of war : halo 3 : ps3 : red ring of death : Wii : Xbox 360

Comments

By: Corrine

On: 04:33 Oct 29th, 2007
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I am sorry for the loss of your game lover

However, I hope you enjoy your new babies! They can never fill the hole in your heart.... but Super Mario Galaxy will. *patpat*

By: Dragonfly

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On: 06:03 Oct 29th, 2007
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I'm trying to write up a serious response to this... but I can't stop laughing. :lol:

By: ApplesauceNinja

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On: 07:35 Oct 29th, 2007
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Dude, I too experienced crack induced shopping yesterday. I went in to a local Hastings store, and I had no intention of anything other than maybe picking up some used games on tha cheep. Then, I saw it...Guitar. Hero. III.
My wife left the building before I did. She shouldn't have done that.

As you said, the game magically leapt into my hand, and no matter how violently I shook my arm, it wouldn't leave. I couldn't just walk out, or they'd
arrest me. So, I had to pay for it. Now, I have this brilliant wonder.
Still, the hundred bucks I dropped has nothing on your little spree, mister.

The PS3 I have no opinion of other than the library isn't vast enough yet to have any appeal for me. The Wii...well, I've had mine for a few months and...meh.

Oh, sorry to hear about your 360, man. A funny thing happend while I was in that same Hastings store. Their display 360 was red ringing like a mo fo.
I had to laugh at that.

By: Matt

On: 08:18 Oct 30th, 2007
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I think theres a way to hack your PlayStation 3, to play Xbox 360 games, i'm not positive but I guess its worth looking into.

By: deanogee

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On: 08:31 Oct 30th, 2007
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my ps2 did this to me while watching a dvd..

By: MistaRob

On: 08:51 Oct 30th, 2007
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courage Dave courage, we've all gone through variations of this. You can receive help at your local CMA (Console Missers Anonymous) there you can share your stories with others who've gone through such tragedies.

By: Evren

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On: 09:51 Oct 30th, 2007
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We feel your pain, your sorrow and your joy for when you get it back, for you will get it back, and you will play more games.

Look to the future, and please, dont do anything you might regret.

By: boa

On: 10:20 Oct 30th, 2007
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And this is exactley why people don't let me have money...

By: Snake Plissken

On: 10:44 Nov 2nd, 2007
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Words of Ivory;35216

I'm trying to write up a serious response to this... but I can't stop laughing. :lol:

Same here.

I guess being able to sound so light hearted is a good thing. If my PS2 broke down on me chances are I would very soon be imprisoned for mass murder.

Either that or start playing on my Gamecube again...